So since I last posted I've gone through a whole whirlwind of emotions. I think this is one reason this whole experience is going to really make me a better and stronger person, because it's forcing me to do something I don't like to do--deal with my emotions.
Let's rewind a bit. Last Sunday my Dad flew back to California, and my Mom stuck around for the whole next week. That day my Mom and I picked up my new kitten from the Idaho Humane society. She was (understandably) meowing the whole ride home in her carrier, and poor thing was still pretty high from the anesthetic she got pumped in to her from getting fixed before she left.
Anyway, we brought her home, put her in the bathroom with her litterbox and food, and to make a long story short, she acted very drunk/wild. About 20 minutes later we decided to leave her in the dark room for a while (recommended by the vet) and then I looked at my right forearm and it was breaking out in hives. Then I looked at my left and it was too. I started to flip out that I was allergic to the cat I just got...not the best start to me and kitty's relationship.
Anyway, after a lot of worry on my part and a lot of soothing (me) and bathing (the kitten) by my Mom, turns out it must have been something the vet put on her that I'm allergic to, cause I've been snuggling with her for a week and I'm fine. Oh, P.S., after much discussion I decided to name her Muggles (of course I had to have an HP reference). It works well because she's a big snuggler, so my Mom was calling her Muggles who Snuggles. I call her Mugsy. Or "little chicken wing" (Full House anyone??). She's quite a lounger...she will just throw her body anywhere on your body and take her position where she lies. She is currently snoozing on my stomach while I type. (If I could figure out how to post pictures I would, but I haven't gotten that far yet!)
Okay, so other fun things Mom and I did this week. We floated down the river Boise. Some may call it rafting. It was quite an adventure. Mom was scared to death, I was captain with my oar steering us, and neither of us had any idea what we were doing. We had to duck under several branches, but we left relatively unscathed (the same cannot be said for the elderly couple we 'accidentally' used as a buffer to the bank of the river, the wife of which got smacked in the head with a branch). If it weren't for a chubby Hispanic kid in an innertube that was floating near us the whole time giving directions (who we nicknamed Manny--any Modern Family fans?) we likely would have ended up in St. Luke's hospital.
We also went to the Idaho Shakespeare Festival, which was a lot of fun. Boise has this really cool outdoor amphitheater in the middle of a nature preserve, and the company they get each summer is supposed to be pretty impressive. We saw Othello, which I had never seen before, and while the ending was a bit much for me (one of the death scenes was the longest thing I have ever seen in my life and involved suffocation and lots of twitching and coming back to life), overall I loved it.
I have to say that settling in to Boise hasn't been all that easy on me. I love the area, and love my job, and my new kitty (when she isn't being completely insane), but there's still that feeling that you can't completely put your finger on, that mental instability that comes with doing something new and uncomfortable. Which gets me back to what I started this post with--that I think this experience will be good for me. It's forcing me to learn how to deal with these unsteady feelings. My initial reaction is always to cut and run, but obviously that's not a realistic option (and I don't really intend it to be, it's just a knee jerk reaction). Without getting in to more detail than I'm really ready to, I was able to voice some of my feelings to my Mom, and while there is obviously no quick fix to negative feelings, I do think it was good to let it go beyond myself for a few minutes instead of shouldering this huge burden alone.
I finally was able to play soccer for the first time last night. It was just a pickup game, I knew no one, and it was almost all guys. It wasn't very good soccer, my eyes were burning from the wind and dryness, but it still calmed me and put me in a better mood. I don't think I realize how much soccer does for me until I actually get out there and play. Now that I think about it, I sort of remember feeling this way in London too until I got into soccer.
So, if you got through all of this and you're wondering what the title of this post has to do with it; one--I love Kirk Cameron, except when he's on the Christian channel trying to convert me, and two--we all go through growing pains, and I'm going through some now. It's a part of life, and I'm not the first person to have to transition. I'm luckier than most--I have an amazing support team of family and friends back home, and my new friends and co-workers here are great as well.
This weekend: flying back to Oak Park to be in the wedding of one of my best law school friends, Lacy! So happy for her, and excited to see my family (and let's be honest, most importantly, Luke!)
Monday, August 23, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Perspective
So today was a fun day, but exhausting in a lot of ways. My mom and I started off the day looking for a new kitten for me to adopt at the animal shelter. I can't exactly say why but I started to get a bit nervous looking at all the kittens. I tried to quickly survey why I would be feeling this way, and I think it was because for the first time in my life, I would be solely responsible for caring for something for the next 20 years. Can't back out, no exit plan.
As I thought about it more I realized that this is just another of many things I've committed to in my life. And I've always followed through, no matter how tough it's gotten for me. I've never been a quitter. So rather than let all the negative thoughts flow over me about what if I can't care for this kitten, what if I don't like it, what if it's a huge pain...I started to focus on all the positives I would get out of it: companionship, cuteness, and fun! Negative things will always come slogging along with positive things, whether that be a new kitten or any other life experience. But I realized, once again, that if I can change my perspective, things become a lot less scary and a lot more enjoyable.
Which leads me to my next story. I also bought a new TV today. The old one was having some issues with the pixels (I'm not tech saavy enough to know exactly what). I just got this new entertainment center that requires mounting the TV to the unit. Because that involves heavy things, screws, and metal, it's right up my Dad's alley and not anywhere near my alley. (I know, I'm an athlete, I should be able to lift things. I can't. I am deceptively weak, and have no upper body strength). My Dad is flying home tomorrow morning, so we figured the TV situation needed to be resolved by the end of tonight. So, after doing some research and consulting with much more knowledgeable friends, I purchased a new Vizio 37 inch HDTV at Costco.
After bringing it home, full of excitement about my new purchase and finally being done with the living room, we ran into a few problems. What was supposed to take 5 minutes, after which the three of us (all starving) would head to dinner, took more like 45. First the TV wouldn't fit on the mount attached to the entertainment unit. When we finally forced it in there, it was really too high up and we were all having to crane our heads up to see it. Then when we got the thing plugged in, the 120 hz speed of the TV made it look like a soap opera, which I felt looked horrible. I tried to ignore it for a while but it was really impossible to ignore. There was a point where I was so frustrated with the whole situation that I wanted to just give up and start sobbing. I was ready to just say take the TV back, give me my old pixelated one. Throw the entertainment unit away, it doesn't fit correctly. Burn it for all I care. All these things ran through my head and I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a major breakdown.
But, just as I forced myself to do 6 hours earlier with the kitten, I once again steered myself away from those negative thoughts and refused to let them completely break me down. I told my Mom how I was feeling, and we consulted with Dad. We ended up being able to change the setting on the TV to get rid of the "soap opera effect" (I found that term after googling the only way I could describe what it looked like and turns out it's a term people actually use!). My Dad also found a way to lower the TV down to a much better level. There was part of the metal contraption on the mount still sticking up over the TV though. According to Dad though, all that needed was purchasing a hack saw and sawing the offending metal parts off.
So, after changing my attitude about the whole thing, and allowing myself to feel hopeful (this TV is gonna work!) instead of completely hopeless (see above), things started to look a lot better. We had a lovely family dinner at KFC/A&W Root Beer (yes, it was a truly winning combination), purchased our hacksaw, and came back home. Dad easily sawed off the metal sticking out, and now the TV looks absolutely great. When I look back on the day, I try to remind myself of two things. First, there were several times in the day where I felt absolutely horrible and thought things could only go downhill. Second, I overcame each of those feelings, and I lay here now at the end of the day feeling pretty good.
Why do those things matter? Because it reminds me that every day won't be perfect. There will be days I feel pretty bad. The "bad" feeling may take different forms. But I'll get through it, and soon after, I might feel great. If I can just get myself through those bad feelings by focusing on my perspective toward them, the positive is just lingering around waiting to be felt.
All Star of the Day: Papa Poyer the Non-Lawyer for putting in serious hours, effort, and positive attitude ("get the Phillips head screwdriver Amy and just jimmy rig the metal part in there and it'll work").
As I thought about it more I realized that this is just another of many things I've committed to in my life. And I've always followed through, no matter how tough it's gotten for me. I've never been a quitter. So rather than let all the negative thoughts flow over me about what if I can't care for this kitten, what if I don't like it, what if it's a huge pain...I started to focus on all the positives I would get out of it: companionship, cuteness, and fun! Negative things will always come slogging along with positive things, whether that be a new kitten or any other life experience. But I realized, once again, that if I can change my perspective, things become a lot less scary and a lot more enjoyable.
Which leads me to my next story. I also bought a new TV today. The old one was having some issues with the pixels (I'm not tech saavy enough to know exactly what). I just got this new entertainment center that requires mounting the TV to the unit. Because that involves heavy things, screws, and metal, it's right up my Dad's alley and not anywhere near my alley. (I know, I'm an athlete, I should be able to lift things. I can't. I am deceptively weak, and have no upper body strength). My Dad is flying home tomorrow morning, so we figured the TV situation needed to be resolved by the end of tonight. So, after doing some research and consulting with much more knowledgeable friends, I purchased a new Vizio 37 inch HDTV at Costco.
After bringing it home, full of excitement about my new purchase and finally being done with the living room, we ran into a few problems. What was supposed to take 5 minutes, after which the three of us (all starving) would head to dinner, took more like 45. First the TV wouldn't fit on the mount attached to the entertainment unit. When we finally forced it in there, it was really too high up and we were all having to crane our heads up to see it. Then when we got the thing plugged in, the 120 hz speed of the TV made it look like a soap opera, which I felt looked horrible. I tried to ignore it for a while but it was really impossible to ignore. There was a point where I was so frustrated with the whole situation that I wanted to just give up and start sobbing. I was ready to just say take the TV back, give me my old pixelated one. Throw the entertainment unit away, it doesn't fit correctly. Burn it for all I care. All these things ran through my head and I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a major breakdown.
But, just as I forced myself to do 6 hours earlier with the kitten, I once again steered myself away from those negative thoughts and refused to let them completely break me down. I told my Mom how I was feeling, and we consulted with Dad. We ended up being able to change the setting on the TV to get rid of the "soap opera effect" (I found that term after googling the only way I could describe what it looked like and turns out it's a term people actually use!). My Dad also found a way to lower the TV down to a much better level. There was part of the metal contraption on the mount still sticking up over the TV though. According to Dad though, all that needed was purchasing a hack saw and sawing the offending metal parts off.
So, after changing my attitude about the whole thing, and allowing myself to feel hopeful (this TV is gonna work!) instead of completely hopeless (see above), things started to look a lot better. We had a lovely family dinner at KFC/A&W Root Beer (yes, it was a truly winning combination), purchased our hacksaw, and came back home. Dad easily sawed off the metal sticking out, and now the TV looks absolutely great. When I look back on the day, I try to remind myself of two things. First, there were several times in the day where I felt absolutely horrible and thought things could only go downhill. Second, I overcame each of those feelings, and I lay here now at the end of the day feeling pretty good.
Why do those things matter? Because it reminds me that every day won't be perfect. There will be days I feel pretty bad. The "bad" feeling may take different forms. But I'll get through it, and soon after, I might feel great. If I can just get myself through those bad feelings by focusing on my perspective toward them, the positive is just lingering around waiting to be felt.
All Star of the Day: Papa Poyer the Non-Lawyer for putting in serious hours, effort, and positive attitude ("get the Phillips head screwdriver Amy and just jimmy rig the metal part in there and it'll work").
Thursday, August 12, 2010
My First Post!
So after finishing my first official run this evening along the Greenbelt in my new home for the next year, Boise, Idaho, I decided I should start a blog to document this experience. I think I was pretty high on endorphins because after having to choose all the colors and backgrounds I am much less excited than I was 45 minutes ago! (But still excited enough to go through with this).
In case you didn't know already, I graduated law school in May, and then studied for and took the California bar over the summer. Four days after the bar left my comfy home in So Cal to spend a year clerking for the Idaho Supreme Court in Boise, Idaho. Change has never been easy for me, but if there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I will continue to challenge myself and push my boundaries. Facing things that scare me a bit has always been tough, but more than that, it's always been incredibly rewarding. I know I will have tough times here, and lonely, homesick times, but I also know I will have some truly great experiences that I'll never forget.
So, on my inaugural post I wanted to list some of the things in my 7 short days here in Boise so far that I LOVE about Boise:
1. There is green everywhere. Boise is called the "City of Trees" and it's certainly lived up to its name. From the Greenbelt to the park near the Capitol Building, everything is lush even in this stifling summer heat.
2. Everyone smiles at you when you walk by. On a run, walking to lunch from work, or in the courthouse building, whenever someone walks by, they smile! What a concept.
3. No traffic. People here thing that a 15 minute commute is "long" and that 8 cars waiting at a light at the one congested street downtown is "rush hour traffic." It takes me 7 minutes to get to work and that is considered "far."
4. No Starbucks downtown. I know, this one seems strange! But hear me out. There are no chain coffee shops downtown, only local Boise or northwest chains. They all have a different independent feel, and so far they all make a great nonfat vanilla latte! I look forward to trying them all out.
5. Everyone has a dog. I loooooove doggies and miss my Puppy Luke back home so bad, so it's a good thing that everyone in Boise has a dog and makes sure to take it out with them! On my run tonight I ran by at least 10 doggies, each of which I called "Pup" out loud and gave a little pet if they were close enough.
I have much more to say, but I think I'll spread it out and call it quits for this first post. I'm off to watch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance! Rooting for Robert, he's from Thousand Oaks, right by my hometown of Oak Park! I'll be happy with whoever wins though, they're all great (unlike the pain I never got over that Adam Lambert did not win American Idol).
In case you didn't know already, I graduated law school in May, and then studied for and took the California bar over the summer. Four days after the bar left my comfy home in So Cal to spend a year clerking for the Idaho Supreme Court in Boise, Idaho. Change has never been easy for me, but if there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I will continue to challenge myself and push my boundaries. Facing things that scare me a bit has always been tough, but more than that, it's always been incredibly rewarding. I know I will have tough times here, and lonely, homesick times, but I also know I will have some truly great experiences that I'll never forget.
So, on my inaugural post I wanted to list some of the things in my 7 short days here in Boise so far that I LOVE about Boise:
1. There is green everywhere. Boise is called the "City of Trees" and it's certainly lived up to its name. From the Greenbelt to the park near the Capitol Building, everything is lush even in this stifling summer heat.
2. Everyone smiles at you when you walk by. On a run, walking to lunch from work, or in the courthouse building, whenever someone walks by, they smile! What a concept.
3. No traffic. People here thing that a 15 minute commute is "long" and that 8 cars waiting at a light at the one congested street downtown is "rush hour traffic." It takes me 7 minutes to get to work and that is considered "far."
4. No Starbucks downtown. I know, this one seems strange! But hear me out. There are no chain coffee shops downtown, only local Boise or northwest chains. They all have a different independent feel, and so far they all make a great nonfat vanilla latte! I look forward to trying them all out.
5. Everyone has a dog. I loooooove doggies and miss my Puppy Luke back home so bad, so it's a good thing that everyone in Boise has a dog and makes sure to take it out with them! On my run tonight I ran by at least 10 doggies, each of which I called "Pup" out loud and gave a little pet if they were close enough.
I have much more to say, but I think I'll spread it out and call it quits for this first post. I'm off to watch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance! Rooting for Robert, he's from Thousand Oaks, right by my hometown of Oak Park! I'll be happy with whoever wins though, they're all great (unlike the pain I never got over that Adam Lambert did not win American Idol).
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